Under the Cover


This tiny space on the net is all about curating a lifestyle to Enjoy as we Age. "The Ageless Lifestyle" is  Feeling better, Living healthier, Dressing better with Improved Happiness. Great relationships are not only necessary, they are required to live a long happy life.  And, relationship advice is a tricky thing. When it’s unsolicited, it can be annoying. (Hey, everyone has a Friend who likes to offer it, and I'm that kinda Friend).  Yes. . we are going under the covers this week. We all have our likes and dislikes, and if this subject matter is distasteful to you. . my apologies.  But, when you actually seek out advice about your love life, it will become difficult if  you are not willing to discuss it. Developing good communication is important in relationships, and that's just as true when it comes to sex - which is why, knowing how to describe what you want under the covers is such a valuable skill. 

Unless you’re Madonna, gravity has been working its black magic on your beautiful body.  Parts flop that you’d rather stay put. Things hang lower than expected. But keep in mind that your partner probably has a few unwanted jiggles, too. Certified Sexuality Expert Jane Fleishman, PhD suggests using candles and dimming the lights. “If you’re not comfortable undressing in front of your partner, get into bed before them,” she says. “Once you’re lying next to each other, enjoy that intimacy.” After all, those hips don’t lie, and someone’s about to get lucky - wrinkles and all.

Sex after 50 can get a bad rap. After all, menopause does change our bodies in less than pleasant ways (talk about those personal summers!). "One of the great joys of being older is that you can settle into your body more, without fears and inhibitions getting in the way,” says Antonia Hall, author of The Ultimate Guide to a Multi-Orgasmic Life. “Women often say that in their youth they were concerned with their sexual performance. But now that they understand their bodies. They don’t have time for bad sex!”  You know the term "Use it or lose it"?  You can literally apply it to sex after menopause. Sex (including internal masturbation) will keep the vajajay moist and supple. But if that’s not doing the trick, a natural, water-based lubricant is always helpful. Consider this. . . your Prime, your Hayday,  your Time  - - You do YOU!

Piping up about a new turn-on, or wanting to try new positions, can increase the intimacy between the two of you, or even rekindle the spark when you & a longtime partner have plateaued in the bedroom. But, sex can be physically demanding - your old moves may be putting stress on your hips, knees, or back. Try positions that utilize larger muscle groups. Once you figure out your favorite, honor your limitations and take things slow.

Love your Body More: Tune out the media view of how women are ‘supposed’ to look and tune in to your view of how YOU want to look. The less comfortable you feel in your own skin, the more sexually inhibited you will be. Worrying about a jiggle here or a little extra wiggle there will only make you and your guy crazy. Trust me - - there is nothing Men hate more than to hear their Lady complain constantly about weight, especially when things are heating up.  Talking about cellulite is Not a turn on. So, rather than fret about the firmness of your thighs, take a deep breath, put all your thoughts about your body out of your mind, and enjoy.

Start Slow:  If you have been thinking a lot about getting more brazen in the bedroom and feel a bit self conscious about sex in general. You don't have to dive in from the deep end. Start slow and make small steps towards getting more comfortable.  Comparison will rob you of your Joy.  So, do not compare yourself to others or get distracted. Learn to appreciate your body for everything it does for You.


Not everyone has a significant other. But that’s okay. . . because no one said this couldn’t be a single-player game!  If you're wondering if your smile lines are stopping Mr. Right from swiping right, it's easy to forget that if you were ten years younger you wouldn't be who you are right now. Sex toys  open up a whole new world to women, and you should not deny your single self of the pleasures available. "When you own where you are in your life, who you are, and are confident in your values and personality, you are more likely to find someone who is better suited for you," says Relationship Expert, Dr. Juliana Morris.


A 1994 survey in The Social Organization of Sexuality showed that roughly 15-20 percent of married couples are in a sexless relationship. Many different factors can contribute to a decrease in intimacy including resentment, infidelity, and boredom. “In the beginning of a relationship, many couples make it a priority to have sex,” says Dr. Sue Varma, board-certified psychiatrist/couples/counselor & sex educator on faculty at NYU. “Over time, we become habituated and desensitized to the novelty of it all, and there is a more common, deeper sense of knowing someone.”  Some people will tell you, that they have too little sex - and that could mean it’s only two times a week. However, Dr. Varma thinks if you can’t remember the last time you’ve had sex with your partner, then it might be an issue.  If you’re in a sexless marriage and want to fix it, you must make the effort.  A lot of it is based on communication and a willingness to be open with your needs. Dr. Varma suggests finding a time to speak when both partners are not feeling angry, tired, or stressed. 


Setting boundaries is the key in every relationship, no matter who you are or where you are on the ladder of success. And, it doesn’t always have to feel like a negative experience. Setting boundaries can be a perfectly reasonable, healthy part of building a life with someone.  All Mature women do it!  We all have things we want, and don’t want in relationships to feel happy and fulfilled.

Demand Respect, Understanding & Kindness.

** Thanks for Visiting. This post is ForYourEdutainment (FYE).  I am not a Marriage/Relationship Counselor nor a Physician - Just a woman on this life journey.  If  you like it, please leave a comment & Share, Share, Share.  Don’t forget to follow me on Bloglovin  for new post updates, and on Pinterest**


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