Entourage, Posse or Tribe

The more generous we are in helping others, the more they trust us and the more willing they are to help us. An entourage is . . one's attendants or associates. Too often, women don't see having an entourage as a priority to expand their business or advance their brand.  But, all great leaders have an entourage, a mutually collaborative one.  The true test of whether someone will be a long-term member of your entourage is whether he or she encourages you to achieve your vision, have a fulfilled life and successful agenda.  The good news is that you don’t need to have a large group of people - just one or two members can be enough and you don’t even need to know them all personally. Call it your entourage, your Posse, your Flock, your Tribe, your Squad or your “Inner - circle”, we all need people and resources to keep us on track, relaxed, and resilient when the shit hits the fan.

An Entourage at your Wedding
You’re engaged. Yay!  Your friends are so excited, and even better, jealous! So, now it’s time to begin your wedding planning. All your friends want to help. Tell them NO. Trust me.  Picture this. . . you’re walking in to the bridal boutique with, your mom, sister, future mother and sister-in-laws, and four best friends in tow. Sounds like a fun day out with the girls, right? Um, have you seen “Say Yes to the Dress”?

Weddings are a celebration. You only get one chance to be a first time bride. Own it. Your nearest and dearest may have your best interests at heart, but too many voices can leave you confused about your vision for your wedding. You just can’t have that many people with you at every stage of the wedding planning.  So, Pick and choose. For the all important dress choice, take one or two people whose opinions you really trust to pick your dress and let the others help with something else. Just not all at one time!

An entourage in the delivery room? No thanks.
During this age of oversharing, some young mothers are inviting numerous family members and friends into the delivery room. It’s called “crowd-birthing,’’ and it sounds awful.  There’s a new, horrifying trend according to a U.K.-based marketing survey by Channel Mum. The report says the average is eight, but some even admit to allowing up to 15 people in the delivery room. Fifteen people! Is nothing sacred anymore?  Giving Birth is beautiful thing, but the mother is not always at her most prettiest and there can be body fluids all over the place. Plus, you could be putting your baby at risk. Do you really want your jealous sister-in-law there? I think not.

Entourage or Groupies?
There is a difference between an entourage member and a groupie - some of us have both. A great entourage member is the best resource we could have. But on the flip-side, a groupie is is like wearing lead boots in the ocean - they pull you down fast.
Great entourage members are:
- Peeps You Easily Feel Good Around. They are uplifting and generally positive company.
- They Are Going In The Direction You Want To Go. They are learning and growing and trying new things.
- They Make Time For You.
- They Call Your Bluff. They know when you aren’t being your best and aren’t afraid to kindly point it out and hold you accountable to your best self.

A Groupie is just the opposite. They are someone you might like to hang out with, but who doesn’t help you with the heavy lifting, in fact they might give you more to lift. 3 Ways to spot a groupie:
1 - Groupies Mooch Energy. They complain a lot, are always stuck in the same place or you feel more drained than uplifted after spending time with them.
2 - Groupies Compete For Attention. They will always try to “one-up” you. If your day was great they’ll tell you how their’s was better. If you have a tough time they will tell you how their life is worse. They don’t let you have your own experience without making it theirs.
3 - Chatter Box. They talk more than they listen. They dump their day on your lap and don’t give you a chance to talk about what’s going on with you.

So, how do you create an Entourage and/or clear out the Groupies? Focus on who you do want in your Entourage/Inner Circle, and tell them. Link up with those that meet your entourage guidelines often and let them know what you are up to, as well as  find out where you can support each other in reaching life goals.  And for the groupies . . . don’t let them on the bus.

Rappers have a very large Entourage and plenty groupies. They roll with day managers, tour managers, and big-boss managers; personal assistants, stylists, a social media team; DJs, dancers, opening DJs, artists signed to their label, their DJs, their dancers; security, homies, people trying to be homies, and on and on. Rap is a business, and these are the people that make it all work for them.  This many people will not work for the everyday career woman.

Jennifer Lopez once admitted that she believed her entourage had contributed to the break down of her past relationships. The singer was then single after ending her romance with dancer Casper Smart, but thought that there were simply too many people following her around all the time for her to find space for a boyfriend. She said: "There's a lot of people in my life and that's hard. There's people in the house. There's hair and make up. It's a lot, I think, for someone to deal with".   The artist Prince's entourage were all questioned after his death. The investigators wanted to question them about his prescribed pain killers and ultimately drugs that may have caused his demise. Much like Michael Jackson they both had an extensive entourage who had knowledge of their day to day activities because it was required. All of these stars have very large entourages and it may be necessary at some time or other for their brand, but there can can be too many.
Who picks those in Your entourage? You do, and already have. How’s that working for you?